Won't Let Her Go
by Naya.Fan1
Summary: AU - [Sequel to The Bucket List] Life goes on, after death, love and sorrow you have to move on with your life and live it to the fullest, but what happens when life throws obstacles and all it can in your way?


**Did you miss me?!** **Si, I know it's been a really long time but here it is, what you've all been waiting for! the sequel to The Bucket List! the first couple of chapters might be a bit jumpy just until the story gets into the full flow of things, but for the first couple of chapters it may be set out over a couple of years, I haven't decided yet. **

**Updates? I hear you ask... well since this year I have all of my exams and revision and school work have kind of taken over my life along with some family problems that have been happening recently, updates will most likely be monthly but I'm not promising anything. **

**Sorry guys... **

**This whole fic is dedicated to missyellowbrick who has been amazing with me these past few months. I love you ;)**

**anyway... ENJOY!**

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Chapter 1

Don't Let Go

The ambulances all pulled up outside of the hospital at the same time. The irritating screech of the sirens came to a halt, the doors flew open and the critically injured occupants were hauled out to be met by a group of surgeons and other doctors and nurses. "Five passengers in a car crash," the EMT started reading out what was written on a clipboard. "One was pronounced dead at the scene from a head injury, another bled out in the ambulance." The doctors stared at the injured passengers with wide horrified eyes; this was looking worse than what had been described to them over the phone.

"The other three are in critical condition; one of the women has internal bleeding in the lower abdominal area and some severe cuts and gashes on her legs and back." The EMT carried on explaining, the doctors rushed the beds inside and towards the OR's. "We found a medical card in the car that must belong to this woman here; she has previously had a heart transplant and is currently on medication. From what we can tell she passed out in the car from a head injury but went into cardiac arrest just after we got there."

The doctor nodded in understanding and began to examine the two women as more nurses and doctors came to help in any way they could. "Did you use CPR?" the man in the poufy jacket nodded. "Who was driving?"

The EMT gestured towards a man that was still conscious but only just. Blood was staining every inch of his body so that he was almost unrecognisable and his legs were both sticking out in an awkward position in front of him. "The front and left side of the car were both crushed in the crash, the steering wheel bent and has crushed the tops of his thighs, from what we could tell the bones are broken in more than four places in each leg and has some internal bruising and possibly bleeding in his chest."

"Okay, thank you. We'll take it from here." The EMT rushed off for another call and left the doctors to it. The doctor clicked his fingers in the air and a nurse came running, flushed and eyes wide. "Who are the emergency contacts belonging to these people?" he asked the nurse as she quickly flicked through different medical charts belonging to each person.

"Santana Lopez's contact is Brittany Pierce who was in the crash too, she is now in surgery." She explained still flipping through the papers. "Marco Lopez's wife is deceased." The doctor looked at the nurse dumfounded but was relieved when she carried on with some good news. "Dylan Graham has a father out at Long Beach; he's already been informed and is on his way over now. Blaine Anderson's contact was Kurt Hummel but we couldn't get a hold of him but there was another number mentioned in his forms so we called it and a close friend of his is now on her way, Rachel Berry I think her name was."

"Thank you, nurse." He said as he placed his hand on her shoulder in thanks. "When they arrive, tell them that we will do everything we can for their friends and family. Also, ask them if they know anyone else that could be here for Miss Lopez and Miss Pierce." She nodded and let the doctor get prepped for surgery.

_I felt high like I'd just smoked ten joints all at once without the sickly feeling, I couldn't quite understand why I was feeling like this but I all I knew was that I'd felt like this before, a long time ago or maybe not that long ago...? I couldn't work out what was going on, one minute I was asking the love of my life to marry me the next there was blue and red flashing lights everywhere. I swore I'd heard screaming but that felt like such a long time ago now that I could barely remember it._

_There was nothing surrounding me, no air or any objects were touching my skin and I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed or if I was asleep or awake. A sudden icy cold feeling formed in the pit of my stomach when I realised I was stuck inside my own mind left with my agonising thoughts once again. I'd definitely been here before, it took me a while to remember when but when I did I knew what was going on._

_Was I dead? I had no way of knowing. This was all so familiar yet so different to the last time I had possibly died._

_Maybe I was dead but if that was the case wouldn't that mean Brittany was as well? She'd been in a much worse state than I had been that night so what had happened to her?_

_For some reason I felt a shot of pain somewhere in my body, I suppose it should have been in my chest but the fact that I was for some reason trapped inside my own mind I couldn't work out where it was._

_Brittany couldn't be dead could she? We'd been through so much together and to have it all end in a stupid way like it had, was pretty unfair. Brittany was the strongest person I knew, it just wasn't right that this had happened._

_"Santana?" My attention snapped away from my own thoughts and to the sound of a woman's voice calling my name. I knew immediately who it was and the pain I was somehow feeling only got worse. "Santana, is that you?" I needed to cry, I needed to scream or something to let out the pain but I couldn't. The voice I heard was so warm and loving it didn't even sound like her, I hadn't heard her talk to me like that since I was a little kid before everything changed, before she started working again and turned cold and emotionless. _

_"Sí, mami." I chocked out through a sob. It had been over three years since I'd heard my mother's voice, I hadn't even dreamt about her. But hearing her voice now was like a breath of ocean air being washed over me. _

_"My baby." My mother's voice sounded just as broken and full of emotion as mine did but her words started something inside of me, something that could have resembled anger or rage. Why would she be calling me her baby after everything that had happened between us? "What're you doing here?" The question hung in the air, what was I doing here? _

_"I don't... I don't know." My voice was really shaking now and the anger I had felt was wearing away every time I heard her voice. I couldn't control my emotions. I was scared out of my mind, so scared that I was dead, scared that I wouldn't see Brittany ever again, my father or any of my friends. But on the other hand I was happy, happy to hear my mom's voice again. "Mami, I think I'm dead..." My voice cracked at the end of my sentence and I knew I was crying._

_"Oh, mija, what happened?" I felt a rush of warmth around my body and suddenly the darkness I had been encased alone with my thoughts in slowly dissipated into swirls of cloudy colour until I could see shapes. Those shapes morphed into a bright sunshiny beach, white sand buried my feet as the grains of sand clung to my skin, aqua blue water crashed up the surf and the sound echoed around me. I had no idea where I was, it didn't look like anywhere I'd been before but I felt strangely at piece here._

_I let my eyes wander around as I took in my surroundings, the beach went on for miles and miles with no signs of civilisation apart from a single beach hut just a couple of feet from where I was standing. It was small but looked inhabitable, smoke was rising from a little fire that had been built outside of it and three long logs were positioned in a triangle where someone must have been sitting at one point. _

_I began to walk towards it when my mother's voice stopped me, "Santana?" I stopped in my tracks, she sounded so real and so alive that I knew I must've been dead. It was the only 'logical' explanation there was for what was going on._

Dylan's father raced in through the entrance of the hospital with bright red puffy eyes. He had driven so frantically the whole way here that he was surprised that he hadn't been stopped by the cops. When he'd got the call that his son had been in a car accident the only thoughts that were racing through his mind that he was going to lose the only person worth living for, he'd lost his wife due to his selfishness and now he was about to lose his son.

Before he could ask the woman behind the desk about Dylan, Quinn Fabrey and Rachel Fabrey came charging in just seconds later. Both women still had their hair and makeup done from the wedding but were now wearing casual clothes so that they would have been comfortable on their flight. "Mr Graham!" Quinn called from across the reception; her boss looked just as bad as she felt and it all just made the situation feel that more real.

"Quinn, oh thank god." He sighed relived as he ran over to meet her. "Can you tell me what the hell's happened?" the blonde shook her head as more tears fell and Rachel had to pull her into her body to calm her wife.

"We don't know, sir." Rachel cut in for the woman sobbing madly in her arms. "We were just about to leave for our honeymoon when we got this call out of the blue for us to come to the hospital because someone we know has gotten into a crash."

"My son was in that car." Mr Graham cried as he slumped back into a chair, Quinn jolted up straight at a sudden realisation.

"Dylan was driving them home." She whispered to Rachel who looked at her confused.

"Who?"

"Santana, Brittany, Blaine and Marco." Shivers ran down both women's arms. Their friends had been a pretty big accident if the ten mile long traffic jams on the way over here were anything to go by.

"Oh, no." Rachel breathed out as her own tears spilled over. Just then a flushed looking nurse ran over to them.

"Miss Berry and Mr Graham?" she called out to the three of them and began to rattle out everything she knew of their loved ones. "Mr Graham are still being operated on as we speak." She started and looked down with regretful eyes at the next piece of information she was about to give. "Miss Berry, Blaine Anderson had you on one of his medical forms, we couldn't seem to get in touch with Mr Hummel so we had no choice but to call you-" Rachel's eyes were wide as fear took over her body but she cut the curse off before she could finish.

"I'll call him, please don't tell me what's happened…" the nurse looked confused for a moment but Quinn just nodded her head for her to carry on.

"Do you know anyone we could call for Miss Lopez and Miss Pierce?" the nurse cut through their sobs and finally asked, knowing it was important that someone knew what was happening to the other patients.

"Santana and Brittany are like my sisters." Quinn quickly jumped in. "Brittany has parents back in Ohio; I can give you their number if you need it?"

"That would be great, thank you." The nurse jotted down the number that Quinn seemed slightly hesitant about giving away. Brittany hadn't spoken to them in three years, was it a good idea for them to be here? "Is there anyone I can call for Miss Lopez?"

Everyone shook their heads in sync. "Her mom is dead and her father was in the crash as well." Rachel supplied when no one chose to speak. "But her uncle lives close by and she's close to him?" the nurse nodded sadly because wow, these people had it rough.

Quinn stood up and walked towards the dumbfounded nurse and pulled her off to the side where they could have some privacy. "Can you tell me what happened to Blaine…?"

_I turned around to face my mom, my breath caught in my chest and I had to bite down to stop a sob from breaking out. "Mami?" There was no point in even trying to keep my resolve. Her hair was a lot lighter than I remembered it to be, her skin was smother and plumper, all the wrinkles had smoothened out and her eyes reminded me so much of my own but they were full of wisdom that only a woman of her age could wield. They had that little spark of life twinkling in them that had disappeared a long, long time ago but now had returned._

_My eyes carried on raking over her body, she was shorter than me now, maybe I had grown or maybe it had just been so long since I had last seen her that I'd forgotten? She'd lost a lot of weight, she looked healthier and happier. She was young again; she looked exactly how I remembered her to be when I was three years old. _

_"Why are you dead, San?" Her voice was so soft as she walked towards me but before she could take the last couple of steps to reach me I threw myself into her arms. She hoisted me up and spun me in a circle. I hadn't felt this kind of happiness in a long time, it was different to the happiness I felt with Brittany and everyone else, it was warmth and tingles that only my mother could give me, I remembered feeling like this when I was younger and she'd take me to the park and chase me around the swings._

_I thought for a long time about how I could've died. "I was in a car crash." I mumbled, my eyes were welling up as she looked at me sympathetically. She crouched down and patted the sand next to her for me to take a seat. "We were coming back from Quinn and Rachel's wedding." I said as she wrapped her arm around me. I remembered how happy the new couple were and I unconsciously smiled at the memory._

_"They got married?" I knew my mom was smiling without even looking up at her._

_"Yeah." I finally looked up to meet her smiling eyes and she nodded._

_"Yes, it's great." And I knew she was telling the truth, a couple of years ago she would've said the complete opposite but I knew she'd come to accept me and my friends and I missed that she hadn't been by my side through everything that had gone on in my life. "How's Brittany and yours relationship?" The use of the present tense didn't go unnoticed. _

_I couldn't help but smile, she was actually interested in my love life after such a long time. It kind of sucked that it took me dying for it to finally happen. "It's amazing actually, we've just moved in together and I actually just asked her to marry me before... Before..." I trailed off unable to say what I want to._

_"Before you died?" My mom says softly and I nod because she's right. "What did she say?"_

_I smiled at the memory, "She sort of said yes but she said I have to ask her again when we get out of the hospital..." I trailed off then corrected myself quickly. "I mean, if we get out of the hospital."_

_"Honey, everything's going to be okay, you still have time to go back."_

_My eyes go wide at the thought of being able to be with Brittany again. "What, how?"_

_My mom just smiled and turned back to the ocean. "Before when you were talking about the car crash, you said 'we' not I." She changed the subject before I could ask her anything else. "Who else was in the car with you, apart from Brittany of course?"_

_I didn't want to stop talking to her; I didn't want to leave her. She was my mom and I hadn't seen her in such a long time that this had got to be one of the longest conversations we'd ever had. I didn't want it to stop. "My friends Blaine and Dylan and Dad..." my voice grew quieter when I mentioned my father, I didn't know how she'd take knowing that he was in the crash._

_"How is he?" She asked and I knew she was trying to act casual but her emotions were still seeping through her walls._

_"He's okay." I lied._

_"Don't lie to me, mija. Your forehead is doing that scrunchy thing when you lie." My mom pointed out and I couldn't help but laugh. I hadn't been this relaxed in a long time._

_"He misses you, he misses you so much, mom." She lets out a breathy sigh like a weight had just been lifted off of her shoulders at my confession._

_"I miss him, too. It gets pretty lonely here sometimes." I looked around at the beach again, the sun beating down onto the water and sparkling back into my eyes. _

Quinn was clinging to her wife for dear life as they sat nervously in the waiting room; Rachel let out another irritated sigh and shoved her phone back into her pocket with a huff. "He still won't answer his phone." Referring to Kurt who she had been calling him for the last two hours without any luck.

"Maybe he lost it?" Quinn offered knowing that that wasn't true, it wasn't a secret that the usually happy couple had been arguing a lot and from what had happened that night the blonde wouldn't have been surprised if Kurt had just knocked his phone off.

Blaine and Kurt had gotten into a hell of an argument in the middle of the dance floor after Blaine had caught Kurt dancing with some guy called Adam that Rachel was friends with. For some reason it had been Tina and Quinn who had had to break the fight up when the blonde realised that most of the people had weirdly wondered off outside when something else had caught their attention. Rachel had eleven missed calls off her fathers but she chose not to answer them yet, this was more important right now.

Suddenly, a tiny body threw themselves at Quinn and began to cry loudly into her shoulder. "Where's S'tana?" the voice was more high pitched than it usually was but the blonde recognised that it belonged to Anton, Santana's tiny cousin. Orlando wasn't far behind him with a faraway look on his face. Rachel jumped up and pulled him into a corner to explain what had happened whilst Quinn comforted the little mess of a boy in her arms.

"She's going to be okay, everyone's going to be okay." she didn't even believe her own words as they spilled from her lips.

_"Where are we?" My words were dripping with curiosity but I couldn't help it._

_"You know, I never quite figured it out." She chuckled and leaned back onto her hands, her legs extended out in front of her. "But I don't think that really matters now, it's beautiful here, and it's too late for me to go back." I knew she meant come back with me, to be alive again. And that thought only made my chest ache that little bit more, it wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair. "I miss you, too, you know?" She says pulling me from my thoughts. I just smiled at her in response because I knew I would start crying again if I said what I was feeling. "I know I wasn't the best mother to you, I could've done a lot of things better and I'm so deeply sorry."_

_I couldn't hold back the tears; her words meant so much to me. "It's okay, mom, you raised me to be strong and independent and that's gotten me through so much." I replied truthfully and wrapped my arms around her waist tightly. I couldn't let go, I didn't want to let go ever again. She was my mom and I loved her so very much even after everything we'd gone through together._

_"You still have this tough exterior though," she pats my chest. "And you push people away when they get too close." I nodded because it was the truth but I didn't know what she was getting at. "You shouldn't do that anymore, you shouldn't be like me. I pushed your father away; I pushed you away and look what happened I lost both of you."_

_"Mom, I would be so happy if I was a tenth of the woman you are. You're strong, confident, and resilient and you were such an amazing mom when I was younger." I told her surely because it was all the truth._

_"Santana-" she started but I cut her off._

_"No, I'm telling you the truth. Just believe me and don't push me away okay?" I replied using her words from only minutes ago. We sat in silence for what could have been an hour before she spoke again._

_"When you go back I just want you to know that I will always be with you." I turned and looked at her in confusion. When I go back where? "There is still time for you to live the rest do your life, Santana. You just have to keep a hold of that piece of rope tying you to that life. To Brittany and your future." I clung to her hand tight because I didn't want to leave her here, I needed her to come back so she could see how happy I was, I wanted her to meet her future grandchildren. She must have seen the panic in my eyes because with her empty hand she reached up and poked my chest. "I will always be with you, in your heart." I let a body shaking sob wrack through me as I buried my face into the crook of my mom's neck. She'd given me her heart so that I could live; her finger was still on my chest inches away from my two scars. I knew she could see them clearly but she didn't say anything. She could probably tell I was sensitive about them; I'd always been sensitive about that kind of stuff ever since I was younger._

_"I've wanted for so long to tell you how much I love you, I wanted to apologise for pushing you out of my life like I did. Mom, I don't want to leave you." I held on tighter and let my tears soak through her clothes._

_"You're not leaving me; we'll always be with you." She stated and my head shot up in confusion once again._

_"We?'" I asked with an arched brow._

_"Yes, 'we.'" It's a new voice, but one that I recognised easily, one that I'd known all my life and I found myself smiling._

_"Dad?" I asked as I turned to face my father who was standing a couple of feet away from us. He looked just as healthy as my mom did, actually they both looked a lot younger than they had the last time I'd seen them. I watched intently as he walked closer to us, his white linen clothes reflected the sun. It was then that I realised that my mom was wearing a white dress made of the same fabric. I, however, was still wearing my bridesmaid dress, the red was fading, slowly turning white and I knew I didn't have a lot of time left._

_"Hi, mija." His bright smile mirrored my mom's and my own smile. "It's so good waking up without a hangover. I was so sure I would've needed a handful of aspirin for the headache I would've had." He chuckled that deep throaty laugh of his and I began to cry again. This meant my father was dead, my heart cracked in my chest at the realisation. "I've been walking for a long time." He sighs as he collapses to the ground on my other side and wraps his arm around me before planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek. "Don't cry, Santana, everything's going to be okay." He reassured me and I believed him. I always believed him I just didn't know how I would be able to cope without him in my life. _

Quinn, Rachel and the other men had been cooped up in the hospital for three days now and their loved ones showed no signs of improvement.

Brittany's legs and back had been stitched and bandaged and the bleeding in her lower abdomen had been stopped but not without devastating consequences. However, for some reason she still wasn't waking up. The doctors found no signs of Brain injury or anything that could be affecting her brain but she should have woken up by now. It was probably best that she hadn't though because she would have been in excruciating pain and the doctors would have ended up sedating her.

Dylan had gone through extensive surgery on his legs and hips, he had pins fitted to keep the bones straight but he wouldn't be able to walk without help for another year or so. There had been no internal bleeding but he was still badly bruised.

Santana had had to have stitches on her head from when she'd smashed it against the window of the car, the doctors had had to reopen her chest to make sure her heart was okay and were debating whether or not they would fit her with a pacemaker just in case. She had somehow managed to crack two ribs and break her left wrist so she was all bandaged up.

Santana and Dylan would hopefully wake up around the same time when the anaesthesia would wear off and when they were ready but there were no signs of when the blonde would come back around to reality. There was just no way of telling yet.

Kurt still hadn't answered his phone and Rachel was beginning to get pissed off. Earlier that morning she had called Adam and told him to go and find the man before she hunted him down herself and kicked the shit out of him. None of them were allowed in to see their friends and family yet and were all sitting nervously tapping their feet, biting their nails or doing something else that would help take their minds off of things.

Brittany's parents were yet to arrive and Quinn could only roll her eyes at that. They didn't deserve such and amazing daughter who was so cheerful, happy and loved everyone so fiercely. She would definitely be giving them a piece of her mind when they arrived – if Santana didn't wake up and get to them first. Blaine's parents on the other hand arrived the day before and were getting ready to take their son's body home to Ohio. Rachel had been crying none stop, Quinn was all cried out, Dylan's father sat in the corner of the room shaking with nerves and Orlando, well Orlando just sat as still as a statue, he had been staring at the same spot on the wall since he'd been informed of his brother's death and was now just sitting there waiting for news on his niece. He had lost so many people in his life he didn't know how he was going to tell Santana knowing what she would feel when she found out.

_"Don't let go, Santana. It's not too late for you." This time it wasn't my mom or dads voice that was talking to me, I looked around for a second before my eyes met a boy I'd been friends with since high school, his hair was waxed back letting the sun reflect off it and his clothes were similar to my dad's apart from a pale blue bow tie tucked neatly around his neck._

_Blaine walked towards us with a bright smile that broke my heart once again. This was getting to be too much. It wasn't fair. Too many good people had died and it just wasn't fair. I jumped up and raced towards him, my arms swung around his neck and held tight. "No. I sobbed. No, it's not fair. You can't die, too. What about Kurt? You can't let go. Come back with me." I begged between heart wrenching sobs. But he shook his head against my neck._

_"I can't it's too late for me now. I'm too far past the point of return but you still have a life, a life with Brittany to look forward to." He held me tight as I cried. "Don't let go of life yet, Santana."_

_He pulled away and held me at arm's length as I wiped away my tears that had streaked my face. "Do you know if she's okay?" He didn't need any clarification on who I was talking about._

_"I died straight away; I didn't even make it through the car spinning..." He didn't even sound upset by the idea of it, he was relaxed and calm and I wanted to ask why but instead I nodded sadly knowing that anything could have happened to Brittany while I'd been here._

_I looked to my father for an answer but he just shook his head and looked down sadly. "I bled out in the ambulance… but Brittany's a strong girl she'll be fine..." He trailed off as his eyes brightened and a smile graced his face. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"_

_I span around so fast that I was sure I'd given myself whiplash. My stomach literally climbed up my throat at the thought of her being here with the rest of us. "Oh god no." I pleaded. She couldn't be dead too could she? I couldn't lose her. A life without Brittany just wasn't worth living. If she was dead I would let go of that rope my mom had talked about and I would stay here. I wouldn't leave her. Her red dress had faded just us much as mine had at an impossibly fast rate and I knew within a couple of hours it would be completely white like my parents and Blaine's._

_I let my legs give way at the sight of my girlfriend but before I could hit the sand her arms were around me in a second and were pulling me into her chest. I sobbed wildly, not caring that there was a group of people watching me. She smelled the same, vanilla and cinnamon clouded my senses and my arms gripped tighter around her waist. "Please tell me you're not dead." I begged her; she shushed me and held me tighter. But it didn't do anything to calm my nerves. In fact it made me worse, she was avoiding answering._

_"She's not dead." It was Dylan's voice that pulled me away from Brittany's chest. "Neither am I. The three if us still have time." He explained but I couldn't let go of Brittany, afraid that if I did I would lose her forever. "Some of us more than others…" _

_"Don't let go of me, Brittany." My lips traced the shell of her ear and her grip tightened around me._

_"I'd never dream of it." She smiled down at me through her own tear filled eyes. "I love you, San." She kissed my lips softy and for a second my eyes flickered over to my mom but when I saw the bright smile on her face I closed my eyes and I let myself get lost in Brittany. I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world but in her arms, whether that meant we were alive or not. I loved her so much it hurt._

_"I love you, too, Britt." I trailed my hands down her arms and met her own hands, our fingers laced together but I pulled away when something cold connected with my skin. Brittany frowned before she realised what I was looking at and her heart throbbing smile beamed at me. She lifted her left hand and wriggled her fingers to show of the piece of jewellery._

_"How does it look?" She asked with a cheesy grin._

_"Perfect." I replied and kissed her hard. She was wearing the engagement ring I'd given her in the car. "Does this mean I don't have to ask you when we wake up or whatever?" I asked sarcastically. Of course I would ask her again. I would make it perfect and have everyone we loved there - those who were left._

_"Too right you have to ask me!" She winked and we both began to laugh loudly at each other._

_We were pulled from our perfect moment when Dylan said my name. "It's time to go now, S." he said, his hand was placed softly on my back but it didn't feel right, he was pulling me away from Brittany. I looked up to meet her eyes but they didn't hold the happiness that was there a second ago. I knew something was wrong almost immediately._

_"Brittany?" My voice shook with nerves, was she about to leave me too? Just like my mom, dad and Blaine had? A wave of anger flushed over me and my fists clenched by my sides. "Brittany, why are you looking at me like that?"_

_She ducked her head to avoid eye contact but I could still see the tears in her eyes. My stomach was plummeting inside of my body. I could feel the wind around us getting stronger and stronger until our hair was whipping around all over the place. "It's not time for me to leave yet." She said almost inaudibly but I caught it easily even above the sound of the wind. "It's your time to wake up now, I still need time." She explained but I shook my head furiously as tears poured from my eyes._

_"No, you can't leave me too." I snapped but my hands wouldn't let go of hers. "I can't have a life without you, Brittany. You are my life now."_

_She shook her head and a week smile formed on her lips. "You can live without me; you did it for a year..." She said sadly and placed her lips on top of my head._

_"That wasn't living, that was me existing without a purpose." I couldn't let go of her, my knuckles were turning white._

_"I promise you, I'll be back soon, I'll follow you, I just can't go yet, my bodies still in comatose." She explained but I just shook my head. "I love you, Santana. I'm not going to leave you. When I wake up, we're going to have our happily ever after, we'll have the perfect wedding we've always dreamed of and we're going to have the most perfect family." She kissed my lips softly but pulled back before I could kiss her back. "But if you don't go now it's going to be too late for you. I'm going to need you there by my side when I wake up okay? I'm going to need you to hold my hand." Her left hand dropped down to her stomach and I frowned in confusion knowing there was a double meaning behind her words but my voice wouldn't work in time to ask her. _

_Suddenly, there was a pair of strong arms around my waist and I was hoisted off of the ground. I kicked and screamed for Dylan to put me down but he was too strong. He carried me away from my loved ones and off towards the surf. "Tell Kurt I love him!" I heard Blaine call and I silently promised him I would. My mom and dad were wrapped up in each other's arms and I was so happy that they had found each other again, my dad could be happy again at last, after so long of being lonely and dying inside. My mom tapped her chest where her heart should have been and then pointed back at me. I knew that they'd always be with me in my heart, especially my mom._

_Brittany held her two hands up in a heart shape against her chest, she smiled as Dylan's feet were engulfed into the water, he backed further in and the waves got higher. Brittany blew me a final kiss and mouthed 'I'll see you soon.' But for some reason I had low expectations, I was scared, I'd already lost enough people in my life that the thought of losing Brittany didn't sound so absurd, but I could hope, I could pray and I could wish on every shooting star that I would wake up and she would be there to take my hand and we could enjoy the rest of our lives together._

_Before I knew it, the warm waves were up to my chest and my loved ones were disappearing from sight. That didn't stop me from screaming for her to come with us, though. That didn't stop me from wishing they would all come with us. It wasn't right that they were here, it wasn't right that this had happened to them. _

_This was fucked up. _

_This whole thing was fucked up._

Quinn stood hovering over the Latina's bed with tear stained cheeks. They had finally been allowed to see their friends and family on the fifth day of waiting. None of them had changed, washed or eaten in that time. Orlando was curled up in a chair at the end of the Latina's bed whilst Anton was curled up onto of the sleeping woman's legs. The blonde hadn't moved since she'd entered Santana's room an hour ago, when she'd been in to check on Brittany it had been different she had felt brave and confident even though she had broken down in tears beside her blonde best friend and clung to her hand for dear life. At least with Brittany she had felt emotion, with Santana she just felt numb.

She'd lost the Latina once before and she was so painstakingly terrified of losing her again that it hurt. She was terrified to lose both of her friends, she'd already lost Blaine and that had hurt enough but to lose these two would kill her.

Rachel was still waiting with Brittany and every now and then they would shoot each other a text with updates on how the two women were doing. Nothing had changed with Brittany; she was still unresponsive but was breathing on her own finally.

"_Mom_!" the room was suddenly filled with a heart wrenching scream from Santana. Her whole body jolted upright, tears were streaming down her face and her chest was heaving, Anton flew off the bed due to the Latina's movements and landed in a heap on the floor. It took Santana a moment to realise where she was but when she did the tears flowed faster and her cries grew louder and quickly turned into loud sobs. "You… you could have come with us." her words were muffled by her watery cries but Quinn could make out her words easily. "They all could have come with us, Quinn, and we just left them there standing. They just watched us go. They let me go, Quinn, she let me go." The blonde was by her side in a second and was cradling her body in her arms.

"Shush, it's okay, you're okay now." She kissed the top of Santana's head. Orlando had woken up and was looking at the two women with curiosity. Anton climbed to his feet with a confused pout on his face; he rubbed away the dust on his knees and turned to the two women.

"I'll go let Rachel and Dylan's father know that she's awake. Can I get you a drink?" Quinn nodded and asked for a bottle of water for Santana.

"I can't believe they just let me go, they just watched me leave, Q!" Santana screamed and clutched harder to Quinn's arm. The blonde had no idea what her best friend was talking about and if she was being honest she was kind of scared of Santana.

"Who, S? Who let you go?" she asked trying to make sense of the brunette's mutterings.

"My mom! My dad!" she screamed again and just the sound of her voice broke Quinn heart in two. "Blaine and Brittany…" she trailed off as a wave of sobs wracked through her body causing her to convulse and lurch. "They're dead, Quinn. Dad and Blaine are dead." She stuttered. Quinn's eyes only widened because how would Santana know that? She was about to ask as much when Santana pushed the blonde off of her, threw back the covers and pushed herself up and out of the bed.

"Santana?!" Quinn gasped. "What're you doing? Get back into bed; you're in no fit condition to be moving around."

Santana ignored the blonde and the excruciating pain that was pounding through her body especially from her ribs and head. "I need to see Brittany, I need to make sure she's okay." her legs began to shake and Anton was by her side with wide eyes. Her chest was tight again like it had been every other time she had woken up in a hospital; she wasn't even surprised when she looked down to see white gauze covering her scar. Her ribs pounded every time she moved and for the first time since she'd woken up she notice the bulky cast on her wrist. She wanted to ask Quinn what had happened but she was so desperate to get to Brittany that she couldn't form words.

"S'tana… go back to bed." he cried through a quivering lip. The stubborn woman just shook her head and pointed towards and folded up wheel chair by the door.

"Pass me the chair, little man." She said as calmly as she could. Quinn was holding her up but only just, not eating for nearly a week had taken a toll on her strength so she was nearly as week as the Latina. "They opened me up again?" she asked the blonde as she descended into the chair stiffly.

"They had to make sure everything was okay." at the blondes words an elderly nurse came hurrying over to them, she was shouting something about Santana but the Latina ignored the voice and pushed the woman away when she tried to take her back to the bed.

"Touch me again and I will shove this pole thing up your ass." Santana snarled as she waved the metal frame holding her IV bag at the woman. "I hate hospitals, I hate waking up in them, I hate the smell of disinfectant that gives me a raging migraine, I have a fuming pain in my head and chest and my girlfriend is somewhere in this hospital alone, I cannot be held accountable for my actions so you can understand that I won't hesitate." She warned when the woman faltered on backing off. The nurses eyes widened in shock, she nodded franticly and scurried off down the hall towards someone with higher authority that could hopefully tame the crazy Latina.

"You really shouldn't have done that…" Quinn muttered.

"Shut up." Santana snapped as she began to wheel herself down the hall not really knowing where she was going, she hoped Quinn wouldn't be as stubborn as she was and would help her to Brittany. Wheeling around high school in a wheelchair for a week had helped with turning corners and dodging people but she didn't even have enough strength to roll a couple of feet without having to stop and take a breath, her plastered up arm didn't help either. Her chest was tightening incredibly painfully and for a second she thought that maybe she should've stayed in bed.

That thought was shaken away with a scowl, no, she wouldn't leave Brittany like she had a couple of minutes ago… or was it an hour, maybe a day? Hell she didn't even know what day it was… she had no idea how long she'd been out of it for before she'd woken up. All she did know was that she would stay by her blonde's side until she woke up.

"I'm sorry, Q." Santana muttered as she stopped for the third time on the same stretch of corridor. "I just don't want to leave her, you'd do the same for Rachel, right?" she turned in her seat to see Quinn and Anton looking down at her from a couple of feet away.

The blonde nodded because, yeah. She would do everything in her power to get to Rachel. She smiled at Santana and turned her in the complete opposite direction to the way she had previously been rolling. "You would get there a lot quicker if you rolled yourself in the correct direction." Quinn teased.

Santana's head whipped round and a freezing cold glair shot its way right into Quinn's sole. "Are you fucking shitting me right now? You couldn't have told me I was going the wrong way _before _I used all of my energy inching my way ten feet down the fucking corridor." Quinn just burst out laughing, thankful that her friend hadn't changed after the car crash. She just hoped she wouldn't be affected by the state that her girlfriend was in.

They were all silent for a moment until the Latina felt a tiny hand hold onto her own. She turned to see her baby cousin with watery eyes, a quivering lip and ruffled hair staring deeply back at her. "They took your star off you and I don't know where they put it." Santana's brow furrowed in confusion at Anton's words, had she hit her head really hard or was he just being weird?

"What're you talking about little man?" Santana tapped her thighs signalling for the tiny child to sit in her lap. Quinn stopped for a second allowing Anton to very carefully climb up and wrapped his arms around Santana's neck. He reached down the top of his shirt and pulled out the homemade necklace with a bright shell hanging down. "Oh," Realisation hit her and she pulled Anton into her chest ignoring the pain that surged down her arms. "I'm sure the nice doctors will have it somewhere safe." She reassured him causing him to relax.

Quinn stopped outside a set of double doors that she assumed let to Brittany's room. "She'd been out of it for a while, S. she doesn't look so good…" Quinn tried to warn the Latina before they entered but the stubborn woman just shook her head.

"I don't care. Just open the door."

_I watched as she was carried off into the ocean, out of my life once again. It hurt so much to see her leave when I knew there was nothing I could do to keep her here, it was her turn to wake up and god only knew when it would be mine. I wasn't stupid – like people thought – I knew that the accident had been fatal and had caused some serious damage to all of us that had been in the car and for some reason, even in this dream world, I could feel pain. It wasn't like intense and agonising but it was there. It wouldn't have scared me if it had been in my arms or legs or someplace like that but the fact that it was pounding harshly in my lower abdomen made the hair on the back of my neck bristle as an icy chill tingled down my spine even in the warm light of the sun. _

_I knew Santana was going to be okay and I tried to let that thought calm the panic rising in my chest. _

"_Brittany," a soft voice called my name and for a second I panicked. I felt my heart race and sweat formed on the back of thighs and the palms of my hands. "How about you come and sit with the in-laws until it's time for you to leave?" I turned with a pale face and wide eyes expecting Maribel Lopez to go all Lima Heights on my ass but the screaming never came… a soft smile was in place instead of anger and I knew I was going to be okay. _

_For now. _

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**Ahhh... it feels weird to be back writing again :) I hope you all liked it, good? bad? **

**Until next time! **


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